By Gideon Scanlon
Toronto, Ontario — April 1, 2020 — Does your business offer clients single-serving coffee pods? If so, you might be sending the wrong message.
A new study into consumer preferences from Tetley Research Centre has found that North American drivers have more faith in auto repair businesses that offer tea in their waiting rooms, not coffee.
“While Americans and Canadians may drink far more coffee than tea, they have more faith in the judgment of tea-drinkers,” Tetley spokesman Orpheus Goode explained.
Not everyone is convinced by the validity of the study. A similar study, funded by Nestle Analytics in 2018, came to a very different conclusion.
“Our research actually showed that customers were much more likely to prefer auto repair facilities that provided them with instant coffee,” said Nestle’s head scientist Chuck Bibb. “While people might say they dislike its freeze-dried flavour, they associate it with cash-savings. Anyone with a high insurance deductible is going to be naturally drawn to a thrifty repair facility.”
The study’s results are also contested by Dr. Alonzo Pulver, director of the Coca-Cola Center for Consumer Research. Now leading a team into the same issue, Pulver says the other two studies have not accounted for several key factors.
“Those studies look at drivers’ preferences. They don’t look at the preferences of all people waiting in the repair facility lobby,” says Pulver.
“We conducted a test where groups of people, and one unruly child, sat in a lobby for four hours. In those situations where the children were given a non-caffeinated fizzy drink, like Sprite, the other participants were prepared to wait far longer than in the other trials.”
“When we gave the child instant coffee, his behaviour got noticeably worse. Most participants were unwilling to sit through the second hour of his caffeine-fuelled antics.”
While the team at Anheuser-Busch’s research department has yet to release its own report on the subject, its chief scientist, Dr. Bob Carter, said they were looking into the issue.
“It is our working hypothesis that placing self-serve kegs in lobbies will lead to a significant increase in repeat business for repair facilities.”
Happy April Fool’s Day.
