Former Kingdom of Bohemia — In the ongoing search for collision repair centres who are elevating the trade in terms of implementing progressive business practices and leading-edge technologies, Collision Repair managed to visit one such shop to get some insight on how industry leaders are changing the landscape of collision repair.
Motorkarriage Trauma Facility No. 87 is a classic small town shop, nestled deep in the vast Bohemian wilderness, down a series of winding and seemingly endless dirt roads that, while not appearing on any modern form of GPS, do in fact glow under the light of a whale oil lantern.
The shop sees all sorts of folks coming through their doors in a given week: from customers who were lured there by a blinking red light in the distance and eventually crashed in the shop’s parking lot; to those who awoke suddenly in the reception area with a note in their pocket saying that their vehicle is under impound for suspicion of treason against a Viennese baron.
In our interview with the shop’s owner, we came to learn a little bit more about what sets MTF87 apart.
Little is known about the man behind the operation, other than that he is only ever seen wearing a long trench coat that extends from where his feet must be to the collar just below his eyes, which are framed with opaque round-framed sunglasses. The man wears a bowler hat and is simply referred to as “S.”
Through the muffle of his collar, S. elaborates on the value of customer service and the pride he takes in going the extra mile to make an impression.
“We offer complimentary vehicle pickups for customers in need of repairs. They are compulsory and unscheduled. Your pickup instructions will be provided to you at an undetermined time in an undetermined location. Please be prepared,” said S.
As well, a positive relationship with insurers is always integral to the smooth operation of a bodyshop. That is why S. makes a special point of meeting on every full moon with a group of tall, slender, shadowy figures behind the closed blinds of his office to ensure that customers are getting the deal the council has deemed them worthy of.
In an effort to give back to their community, the staff of MTF87 sometimes leave small gifts in the vehicles of their favourite customers.
A popular “prank” among staff is to replace a customer’s vehicle’s original manual with the manual for a 1925 Rolls Royce Phantom.
One customer commented on the surprise she got when she got her car back from the shop.
“I had been waiting in reception for about an hour at that point…or maybe like four. Or was it five minutes? The clocks don’t work. Either way, when I first sat down in my car after getting it back, the first thing I noticed was a small yellow bird in a cage on the passenger seat and a sealed letter taped to the dashboard that said that the bird was to be my new supervisor at work. But they did also refill my tank and vacuum my carpets, so I’ve been to worse shops,” said one customer who was having difficulty recalling her identity.
Our interview was cut short, however, when I was jostled awake by a meerkat and realized that I was a zookeeper and this was all a dream.
And yet I now inexplicably bear a brand on the back of my hand in the shape of the letter “S.”
