QUESTION EVERYTHING

WHEN IT COMES TO SUCCESSFUL COMMUNICATION, ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS IS PARAMOUNT

Column by JAY PERRY

Inside our coaching practice, we have much to share with our clients about the art of questioning. First, questions have a tone. We need to have an awareness of how tone can create engagement or oppositely, defensiveness or other negative reactions. Obviously, as leaders we want our people engaged with us and so we need to pay attention to this issue of tone.

I like to illustrate the concept with two questions asking about the same subject. Number one: you didn’t upload the file to the adjuster, did you? In this question, we can clearly feel the accusation, can’t we? This tone sets up potential negatives.

Notably, if the person had uploaded the file, they could be offended by the doubt the question implies or get very defensive. Alternatively, they could get embarrassed if they had not yet uploaded the file. Probably more reactions could appear—none of them positive.

Asking about the same subject but using a completely inquisitive tone would instead sound like this: do you know if the file was uploaded to the adjuster? In this response, there is no defensiveness, just pure pride if the file had been uploaded and a reorganizing of priority if it had not been uploaded. Both positive outcomes!

Questions are extremely powerful in guiding people and reaffirming culture. They need to be carefully crafted. They actually start the process of thinking in a particular line of reasoning and hold the potential to help us improve the thinking of our team members. Many leaders have trouble with this concept as they cling to a very outdated idea that the leader must have all the answers. Instead, we know and teach that the leader must have all the questions. These questions guide people to thinking about solutions (how would you suggest we approach this challenge?) They lead to engagement (I have some thoughts on how we can proceed but am very interested in your opinion, could you share it with me?) They can lead people to superior, alternative approaches (what do you think of this idea?). Why do leaders cling to the outdated idea of having all the answers? Because much of the time they fear looking incompetent so giving answers is an easy way to reinforce their value to the employee. Unfortunately, all it does is set up the leader as being the repository of information and turns employees into robotic appendages. This locks the leader into a position of being “needed” in the business as opposed to having time dedicated to working on the business.

It is not an easy task to retrain ourselves to default to questions. We have many clients that have grown in that direction with great success. The transition in mindset can be done; it helps to fortify our leadership obligation of working on the business and thus helps us to be the one who’s driving!