DOE-N’T DO THIS
The occupants of a Fort St. John, B.C. vehicle have been arrested by the RCMP for several charges including possession of live wildlife, a one-month-old deer fawn, according to the RCMP—and naturally, some drugs. Reportedly, the fawn enjoyed some time with RCMP members before being handed over to Conservation. It has since been handed to Rimrock Wildlife Rehab, where it will be reintegrated into the wild.
The rescued fawn, posing for a selfie. Photo: Chad Neustaeter/Fort St John RCMP
CHOOSE YOUR SIDE
From a galaxy far, far away to a premiere near you: vehicles from the Star Wars universe that Earth officials claim are modified Volkswagen ID Buzz models. The German manufacturers said this collaboration celebrates Disney’s new Star Wars series, Obi-Wan Kenobi, which arrived on Disney+ in late May. The wraps are based on two landmark characters from the Star Wars universe, the titular Kenobi and Darth Vader. The light side edition Buzz features a futuristic chrome and blue wrap job, underbody lighting and custom rims, complete with Jedi Order insignia on the wheels’ centre caps and windows—a classic for any space monks with physics-defying powers. The dark side Buzz Cargo is clad in black and detailed with various shades of crimson, along with tinted windows for the dark lord’s privacy. If the Sith logos don’t tip you off this is a ride for the bad guys, the ominous red glow should.
With both vehicles being custom show cars worked on by experts from Lucasfilm, Industrial Light & Magic and Volkswagen, it’s safe to say these models won’t be rolling off the production lines anytime soon. However, there is nothing stopping you from getting your car wrapped in proprietary designs that look suspiciously close, but totally unrelated to Disney’s copyrighted trademarks.
DISHONOURABLE DISCHARGE
Sometimes when you gotta go, you gotta go. This is as true for humans as it is for bears and is especially true for one bear who has been creating chaos across Vancouver Island. Over six weeks this summer, Vancouver Island Police and local Conservation Officers have been accosted by a plethora of vehicle break-ins from one gnarly bear. The animal, presumably looking for food, has left over 10 vehicles badly damaged, while shocking at least one vehicle owner. Stephanie Hannay, from Tofino, British Columbia, was awoken to the sound of her vehicle’s horn one Saturday night. She returned after noting nothing suspicious. However, the alarm returned later that night. After investigating the source of the noise, Hannay spotted a bear in her backseats. “I opened the driver-side door and this head pops out in the back seat and it’s just a bear. I couldn’t believe it,” said Hannay. “I wasn’t actually sure if that was what I had seen but I freaked out and closed the door immediately and I began screaming. Pacing back and forth. I wasn’t sure what to do.” Luckily, Hannay settled on calling the Conservation Officer report line. The police arrived shortly thereafter, Unfortunately, however, the bear had ample time to destroy Hannay’s car, tearing up the interior, and defecating inside. Conservation Officer Stuart Bates speculated on why this bear has been wreaking so much havoc across the island. “We have a bear that about six weeks ago got into a car and got some food and has since then learned to test every car it comes across,” said Bates.
“It’s just gross in there,” said Hannay. “It’s bad. You can tell he tried to get out. He basically ripped the panelling off every single door, including the hatch. Things are just strewn around…it’s a disaster.”
